Chesterfield woman creates new medal to recognise “strength and devotion” of armed forces partners

A Chesterfield woman has launched a new medal to recognise the “strength and devotion” of armed forces partners - and the quiet contribution they make towards supporting their loved ones.

Dawn Wells is the founder of The Silent Medal initiative - aiming to highlight the often overlooked sacrifices made by partners of those serving in the armed forces. Dawn, who lives in Chesterfield, spent 25 years married to a serving member of the RAF Regiment - and said that she was inspired to create this new medal after hearing other partners share their experiences at a remembrance event.

She said: “It all started at a remembrance event. We’d had the parade and at the function afterwards, I was sat with both serving military and ex-military men, along with their partners, and all the men had their medals on. The partners were all talking about how long we’d been married and where we’d been - the different places we kept moving too when our husbands got posted and the sacrifices we made to support them. We were talking about some of the trauma we went through too.

“When we think about military service, quite rightly we think about the men and women who put on the uniform and serve their country. But behind so many of them is somebody whose life is also shaped by that service. They didn’t wear the uniform, but they lived the life.

“For 25 years I experienced the separations, waiting, worry, changes of posting and the responsibility of keeping family life going. Like many forces wives, I didn’t think what I was doing was anything special at the time. You simply got on with it.

“When my husband was in Northern Ireland, I was here bringing the kids up. When they came home and were suffering with trauma, we as partners had to keep them stable as much as possible. There’s trauma on both sides - for us, it was that fear of them potentially not coming back home.

“What the men did was brilliant, and I supported my husband for all of those years, but there was nothing for the partners. The person serving isn’t the only person involved - there’s a family serving quietly alongside them. There’s a lot of sacrifices that women have made, and as I get older, I think it’s about time that their partners got recognised as well.”

Dawn said that so many forces partners could not pursue their own careers while they moved between different bases - a sacrifice that she did not feel was widely recognised.

She said: “As we talked, the women began sharing some of their own achievements and experiences. Some had spent years doing charity work. Others had volunteered their time to organise activities and keep forces children entertained and supported.

“We also talked about careers. Because forces families could be moved from posting to posting, some of these women had found it difficult to establish or maintain careers of their own. A new posting could mean leaving another job behind and starting again somewhere else.

“I went to college to do hairdressing. I didn’t want to do it, but it was the only thing I could think of where I’d be able to support my husband wherever we went if we had to move. It was hard for us to get jobs, because when you told people that you lived on a camp. They knew we’d probably be moving and wanted somebody who was more stable. It wasn’t until I got divorced that I went to university and qualified as a social worker - that was after the age of 50.

“For some, this also meant losing the opportunity to build up workplace or private pensions for their later years. As I listened, it struck me how much these women had contributed - not only to their own families but to the wider forces community - and yet so much of it had happened quietly.”

Dawn stressed that it was important for The Silent Medal to recognise forces partners who have separated from their spouse - along with the mothers of those who have served in the armed forces.

She said: “I wanted to create something that simply says, we hear you, we see you and your contribution mattered. The medal is dedicated to ‘Forces wives & partners past and present - a tribute to strength, resilience and devotion.’

“The words ‘past and present’ are particularly important to me. I don’t believe somebody’s contribution disappears because a marriage or relationship has ended. A former forces wife or partner may have spent 10, 20 or 30 years supporting military life. Those years still happened and those sacrifices still mattered.

“I would also like The Silent Medal to recognise mothers of serving personnel, who also understand the worry, waiting and uncertainty that can come with having somebody they love serving in the Armed Forces.

“During my time as an RAF Regiment wife, I remember the words of Commanding Officer David Beckwith of 34 Squadron. The message he gave us was, in essence, that the men would not have been able to be who they were, or do the job they did, without the wives and families behind them.

“We provided stability, reassurance and support behind closed doors, often during long periods of separation, postings and uncertainty. Those words have always stayed with me because they recognised something that was rarely spoken about - the quiet contribution made by forces wives and partners.”

Dawn added that she did not want the medal to diminish in any way the commemoration of the UK’s servicemen and women - but instead act as a tribute to the loved ones who supported them.

She added: “The Silent Medal is not intended to take anything away from the recognition rightly given to our servicemen and women. It is about acknowledging the people who stood beside them.

“As Remembrance Day approaches, I particularly think about the older generation of forces wives. Some lived this life before mobile phones, WhatsApp and video calls, when sometimes all they could do was wait for a letter or telephone call and hope everything was all right.

“Imagine receiving something after all those years that simply says, what you did mattered. That is what I want The Silent Medal to do.

“I wanted to touch base with the RAF Regiment so they could give the medals to the partners of the soldiers, to thank them for looking after them and all their hard work.”

Dawn has a meeting scheduled next month with Toby Perkins, MP for Chesterfield, to discuss the initiative - and is hoping to raise greater awareness. She was also invited to lay a wreath at the upcoming Remembrance parade in Sutton, in recognition of The Silent Medal initiative and what it represents for Armed Forces wives and partners, both past and present.