SEEING RED: It's time to put Boris and his chums through their paces on the assault course
As I get older, I tend to look back on things through rose-tinted spectacles more and more.
My ever-worsening memory likes to tell me that life growing up in the 80s was a fantastic experience and that I should pine for those days to return.
Of course growing up the 80s wasn’t much fun at times . . . and that was just my haircut and the clothes I wore.
No, the 80s was the decade beset with disaster and hooliganism on the football terraces.
But back then there were good things too, including my beloved Nottingham Forest - I know, hard to believe - and several TV programmes.
Believe it or not, soaps like Coronation Street were also good and regularly drew in nearly 20 million viewers - but then again we only had four channels to choose from, not the several hundred we’re now blessed with plus the likes of Netflix and Prime Video.
Aside from the likes of Knight Rider, A-Team and Fall Guy, one of my favourite TV shows was the Krypton Factor.
The Krypton Factor originally ran from 1977 to 1995, and was hosted by Gordon Burns and, if my memory serves me right, was usually broadcast on ITV on Mondays at 7pm.
It saw contestants from across ‘Great’ Britain and Ireland compete in a series of rounds that tested their physical stamina and mental attributes.
Its title was reference to Superman’s home planet Krypton, so my trusty friend Google informs me, and paid homage to the contestant’s so-called superpowers.
They were tested in a raft of categories, such as mental agility, intelligence, observation and my personal favourite, physical ability - which involved the contestants racing to complete an army assault course.
Now, 24 years after it disappeared from our screens in its original guise, it should be brought back.
Yes, I’m calling for it to make a return this summer as part of the Tory leadership contest.
Well politics is boring and needs to be sexed up massively. Imagine the scenes as those two Tory heavyweights Boris ‘BoJo’ Johnson and Michael Gove battle it out on the assault course - putting their finely toned bodies on the line for the ultimate prize of leading our wonderful country.
Ok, I said sexed up didn’t I?
But all I have seen in the past few days are candidates appearing on TV and radio trotting out the same old lines we hear all the time when they want votes.
It’s boring. We want to be entertained, not sent to sleep with football manager-styled clichés and what drugs they took in the 90s. Who cares?
Instead let’s really put them through their paces on the Krypton Factor.
Of course, the intelligence round may catch a few out and would trouble the likes of Dominic Raab who once said he “hadn’t quite understood” how reliant UK trade in goods is on the
Dover-Calais crossing. We all make mistakes Dom, but this round may be where you come a cropper - but what telly it would make?
So, instead of deciding at the ballot box who should be the next PM, perhaps the time has come to make things a little more unconventional.
Forget hustings and debates, bring back the Krypton Factor to decide the winner.
Of course, let’s hope the commentator doesn’t revert to rhyming slang when announcing PM hopeful Jeremy Hunt!