Letter: Cheating at festive boardgames hardly screams 'good will to all men'

A few newspapers have run features on how to cheat at boardgames over the festive period. And a Merry Christmas to them.

I know that boardgames can be the boring part of the festivities but that doesn’t give you an excuse to be a cheat. By the same logic, if your spouse gets a little bored you can’t blame them for cheating on you. More on that in January, I presume.

It’s a great way to make everyone in your family dislike you. You will have the glory of winning one round of Scrabble but as soon as you leave they’ll be using a word to describe you that is worth six points.

Some of the tips include jumping the wrong number of places forwards when playing Monopoly. Instead of tapping your piece on each square just confidently move forward to one near your official landing square and you might just get away with it.

The alternative outcome is that your in-laws will think you can’t count.

In Scrabble the advice is to use an app that will find words for you. You pretend that you have to reply to a Yuletide text but in reality you’re ignoring all of the Christmas messages and you’re finding a word no-one will have heard of to get the winning score.

Won’t the rest of your family think it’s odd that you know all of those Latin words, including a Z, but in everyday conversation you think the word “irregardless” is real? They’ll know you’re a cozener, while you’ll have to look that up.

To win at Connect 4 you have to take the first more. After that you place your disc on top of your opponent’s every move. You are therefore guaranteed to win or draw. You will be also guaranteed to not be invited to Christmas 2025.

I’m bitter because I was the youngest member of the family when I was growing up and I can still remember what it was like to have siblings who would cheat at boardgames. Why?

They were around a decade older, they would have won anyway.

I suppose it taught me some useful lessons that made me the man I am today. That man is currently getting angry about boardgame cheats.

Do the right thing. Play fair and if you want to have a family row this Christmas and New Year, mention Brexit instead.

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