Column: There was plenty to like in lifestyle of 'Britain's loneliest sheep'

​The news story is less religious than I just made it sound.

Around two years ago, a ewe was stranded at the bottom of a cliff in the Scottish Highlands. She had plenty of food and water but was isolated away from the other sheep.

Someone set up a petition online, which shouldn’t be a surprise; there’s a petition about everything.

Over 55,000 signatures called for someone to do something to help the so-called Britain’s loneliest sheep.

My guess is it was 55,000 extroverts that signed that. As an introvert reading this story, I feel sorry for the sheep in a different way. No-one stopped to think she might have enjoyed the peace and quiet.

The evidence this sheep was lonely came in the form of an eyewitness.

A local spotted her on the foot of the cliff and apparently the sheep was bleating when she saw the human.

Everyone presumed she was shouting for help but she may have been trying to scare the human off. The sheep had lived without interference, worrying or cold callers. The last thing she wanted was a human around.

There’s a chance the sheep enjoyed being alone so much she jumped down the cliff. I have been in dinner parties where I would have taken a handy cliff jump.

One of the rescuers said she is in good health but over-fat. I bet she’s not missed that kind of societal judgement. You wouldn’t watch what you were eating if you thought no-one could see you.

Anyway, she had a thick jumper on.

It might take her a while to acclimatise. She’ll get used to sharing with others and fights within the flock. Every so often she’ll get shaved like she’s just joined the US Army.

She’ll think This Morning is still hosted by Holly and Phil. She may ask other sheep if she can check her Twitter and they’ll point out it’s called X now and she’ll feel really stupid.

My bigger fear is this poor sheep will see a news bulletin and think, “Are you guys still going on about Boris Johnson and Covid lockdowns? Put me back!”​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Check out Steve’s latet podcast, called Steve N Allen (almost) Daily.