Column: Manners cost nothing but a lack of manners should set you back £1,000

As you can imagine, this is quite rare. Some of you may even be thinking, “They have a policy?” You’re being mean, but I like you.

The policy in question was front page news and got a lot of media coverage. It was their plan to fine people who play loud music from their phones on public transport. It was the easiest media gig I have ever had. Of course I agree. It’s one of the most annoying parts of modern day life.

We have all experienced it. You’re sat trying to make the best of your time suffering on public transport when suddenly you hear music playing. I don’t know if there’s a solid statistical link but I have never found someone who does this to have a collection of good music.

If they were matching the playlist on my radio show I wouldn’t complain, but they’re always playing some music that’s even worse than the stuff they make you listen to when you’re on hold. And that music is designed to be so bad it makes you hang up.

The Lib Dems would like to see these people receive a £1,000 fine. It sounds a little steep but let’s remember that we don’t have a legal system where all fines make sense. You can get more in damages from a defamation suit than you can in damages for losing an arm at work, so why not?

Normally I go on radio saying that I don’t want the Government having too much control over our lives. All it takes is the thought of a loudly played annoying song and I’m Googling to see if the birch is still legally allowed.

Is it likely to become law? Well, no, it’s a Lib Dem policy. Is it likely to be a publicity stunt? What, from the people who brought you Ed Davey going down every log flume in the UK while he was meant to be running an election campaign? Yes.

Even so, it reminds us that people can choose to behave in a nice way or a bad way. You can choose to play your music out loud so that everyone has to hear it or you could put headphones in. You’d still hear it, in better quality probably, and no one else need be bothered by it.

Manners cost nothing. But a lack of manners, that should cost £1,000.